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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29939610">selfish</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessvng/pseuds/princessvng'>princessvng</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Break Up, Crying, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:22:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29939610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessvng/pseuds/princessvng</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Minho had to make a choice, and he knew he’d hurt Jisung nevertheless.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>selfish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jisung knew that it was supposed to happen. Like every single one of his dreams, his reality was supposed to crash down, leaving him in pieces. The problem was that the only person that always put him back on his feet was Minho. </p><p>His sweet, loving Minho.</p><p>Minho, who loved him so much. </p><p>This time was so different, because Minho was his only horizon to sanity and he was leaving Jisung.<br/>
What was Jisung supposed to do if not to cry?</p><p>Truly, when he heard Minho saying those words he started laughing at first, having joked about it for so long that when it became reality it still seemed like a joke to him. But it was bitter. His laugh got caught up in his throat, tears spilling immediately after. </p><p>He knew it. He knew that it would happen. Minho was a free soul, and with this came all the sleepless summer nights in which Jisung cried alone in his bed, wanting to be everywhere else, while Minho was gone god knows where for his dance competitions. At some point Jisung stopped asking him where he was going, loving the idea of thinking about Minho being closer to him than he actually was. Jisung knew that most of the time Minho would go overseas, so far from him, but he just did not care, he just wanted Minho to be there with him.</p><p>It was truly selfish, Jisung didn’t need anyone telling him that because he knew it and he felt guilty for it, he did not want in any way to make Minho feel bad, restrained in that hell of a town they both grew up in.</p><p>All of this brought them here, Jisung sobbing in Minho’s arms while his boyfriend tried to calm him down. Reality was that Minho was feeling his heart hammering in his chest, he was shaking way more than Jisung. But he did not let the younger see through it. It had always been like that. </p><p>He knew that he was hurting Jisung in ways he will never forgive himself for. He knew that he was being selfish. Hell, they were both selfish. But Minho felt like this time it was all on him. </p><p>“It’s gonna be okay, baby”</p><p>No, Jisung could not believe what Minho just said. Nothing was going to be okay, Jisung could not see any scenario in which all of that would turn out to be okay. </p><p>“Minho, I’m losing more and more of you with every second that goes by and you are telling me that it’s going to be okay?” </p><p>Jisung was angry at this point, pushing Minho as he threw those words at him.<br/>
That was their problem, Minho loved Jisung. Damn, he was so in love with him but he also loved his dreams. </p><p>Jisung’s only dream was Minho.<br/>
That was the point in which they reality crashed, they always did. </p><p>“You’re telling me that you’re leaving for god knows where, you’re breaking up with me, and you’re telling me that it’s gonna be okay?”</p><p>Jisung was right. Minho shouldn't have said that. </p><p>Jisung’s world was crashing down and Minho had no right to tell him that all of that was okay. </p><p>“I’m sorry”</p><p>“You always say this. Do you really have no choice?” Jisung started getting closer to Minho again, letting himself fall into Minho’s arms. He was angry at him, fuck, he was so angry, but he loved Minho nevertheless, even if he never fully understood Jisung’s pain. </p><p>It was like that since they met during a lovely spring day. Jisung had fallen while playing with his friends at the park, they left him behind not realizing that Jisung had scrapped his knee.<br/>
Jisung started crying, looking at the little patches of blood on his skin. </p><p>“Did you get hurt?” </p><p>Jisung couldn’t really tell who the person talking to him was, since his eyes were full of tears but he still nodded.</p><p>The boy got closer, taking a look at Jisung's knee and chuckled.</p><p>“It’s just a scratch, it’ll heal” </p><p>That's how he met Minho and the current situation was so familiar to him, it felt like going back in time.</p><p>Minho was leaving him behind and through his words he still heard that.</p><p>It’s just a scratch.<br/>
It’ll heal.</p><p>God, he wasn’t going to live without Minho.</p><p>They started dating when they were in high school, and before that they’ve been best friends.<br/>
Those were the best years of Jisung’s life. Minho was everything he could ever ask for.</p><p>They loved each other so much.</p><p>“I have no choice, Jisung. I’m sorry” </p><p>It was Minho’s dream after all, he’s been talking about going to this college for years.</p><p>“You have no choice, right.”</p><p>“Please, don’t say it like that”</p><p>Right. Jisung was supposed to be happy for him. He smiled bitterly at Minho.</p><p>“So you’re breaking up with me.”</p><p>Minho turned Jisung in his arms, backhugging him. He rested his forehead in the crock of Jisung’s neck. </p><p>“I don’t want you to feel restrained because of me. You also deserve to live, go out, meet new people” Minho sighed “find someone who loves you, it’ll be so easy for you, Jisungie. You’re so precious” </p><p>“Do you love me?”</p><p>Hell, Minho loved Jisung so much.<br/>
He nodded, aware of the fact that Jisung felt every movement of his.</p><p>“So much, you have no idea” </p><p>He started leaving kisses along Jisung’s neck, his breath hot against the sensitive skin. There was a faint mark, maybe one of the hundred hickeys that Minho left on Jisung. </p><p>“You’re making things so much harder, Minho”</p><p>“Since when have I made things easy for you?”</p><p>Jisung chuckled at that. It was somehow true. </p><p>Minho resumed leaving wet kisses on Jisung’s neck, slowly unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it down his shoulder, breathing against the bare skin. Jisung knew that they were on dangerous territory now, that in a few days Minho will be gone and he will just be left with the memory of his lingering touches.</p><p>“ Or maybe we’ll find each other again, who knows” Minho exhaled.</p><p>“I already found you once, I don’t think that life ever gave me a second chance”</p><p>Wasn’t that too cruel for Minho to say? He knew how discouraged Jisung got. </p><p>“Don’t think that it’s easy for me to leave you, Sung. It’s hard for both of us, I’m sorry.” </p><p>Jisung knew it already, he didn’t dare doubting Minho’s feelings. Jisung was hurt, he was bitter, sad, but so was Minho.</p><p>“I know” </p><p>That was all they had to tell each other. Maybe it was that, or the fact that he didn’t want to hear the sad strain of Minho’s voice, but Jisung kissed him. </p><p>He was selfish, at least for one more day.<br/>
That’s how he felt, while he was holding Minho close to him, their bare skin touching, Jisung’s fingers locked inside the soft strands of Minho’s hair. Even while crying on Minho's shoulder, he felt so selfish. </p><p>And when they kissed slowly as they both came down from their high, Minho held Jisung close to him. He didn’t want to let go.</p><p>Despite their intertwined fingers, Jisung felt as if Minho was already slipping away from him. </p><p>That’s how they spent their last days together, even if they knew it’d hurt even more. </p><p>They wanted to be selfish at least once more.</p>
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